Evidence of a Monstrous Commie Plot

"Fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face." - General Jack D. Ripper

Is there something in the water over in Russia that causes Western diplomats – the male ones, anyway – to shed IQ points? There simply has to be, since there is such a long history of this sort of thing happening. I’d ask “what were they thinking,” except that it’s so obvious they weren’t thinking at all.

My favorite part of the story is where the U.S. diplomat checked the hotel room for hidden cameras but didn’t find any. Hidden cameras in a Russian hotel room? What are the odds of that? Just take a quick look around and, if you don’t find any, feel free to go to town. Since no one that stupid gets hired as an FSO, the only explanation is that something happened to his mind after he got to Russia. It's looking like General Jack Ripper was right about that commie plot to sap our will with fluoridation.

Clearly, we need to find FSOs who, while not avoiding Russian women, will nevertheless deny them their essence. If we can't find enough male FSOs with General Ripper's level of self-discipline, then we should staff our Russian missions exclusively with female FSOs, who seem to be less severely afflicated by flouridation.