Monday, April 13, 2009

New Niche Market for Financial Consulting

I thought that a company named Wall Street Prison Consultants might specialize in teaching MBAs how to make a shank out of tightly-rolled Excel spreadsheets, or recommend the best smart phones to smuggle in during contact visits. Alas, it turns out they merely advise on how to game the prison system for early release programs.

Oh, well. I still like the idea of turning spreadsheets into shanks and shivs. Maybe I'll do an instructional video and put it on YouTube as a public service.

I can foresee a fascinating social experiment coming out of the present legal crack-down on financial felons: how will the new White Collar cons survive when thrown in with the traditional Aryan Brotherhood/Mexican Mafia types? The White Collars would have the advantages of high IQ and organizational skills, while the AB/MM would have feral cunning and an instinct for brute violence. Which side would win a prison yard war?

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