Gene Weingarten decides "The Star-Spangled Banner" isn't good enough to be the national anthem and writes an alternative, with lyrics about the Bill of Rights set to the tune of the "William Tell Overture."
It was a genius move to put the Bill of Rights - a freely constructed version of it, anyway - to music. See the video here, and download the MP3.
These are the lyrics. Imagine them sung to the old Lone Ranger theme (ta-da-dump, ta-da-dump, ta-da-dump-dump-dump):
It's okay if you pray. You can own a gun.
You can say what you may about anyone.
You can meet in the street, you can march and strut.
Been wronged? You can sue his butt.
If you're popped by a cop, then you get a trial.
Army troops won't be cooped in your domicile,
When in jail, if there's bail, it can't be too high.
'Gainst yourself ... you don't testify.
There must be reasonable cause/for cops to seize or touch your junk.
In court, you get to see and hear/their case so it you can debunk.
You'll get a jury of your peers/and even if they throw the book
You won't be tarred or feathered or/be dangled on a butcher's hook.
Just because these/are the rights that we are hereby/to you doling
Doesn't mean you/Don't have others/(for example,/going bowling).
Uncle Sam wants your land? Gotta pay a price!
Just one time for a crime - they can't try you twice.
You can write what you might, no restraint awaits.
Other laws ... are left to the states.
That is all, it is small, but it makes us free
It's a trust that we must keep for liberty.
So, a toast, not a boast, as we raise our cup -
Here's to us ... let's not screw it up.
It doesn't replace the official anthem, but it has its niche. Like, on my iPod.