Watch Obama Fight Budget Numbers With Psychokinesis

Big Tip 'o the Hat to Naked DC for this C-SPAN clip in which Barack Obama spends a solid six minutes trying to kill Paul Ryan using nothing but the concentrated power of his mind. It's even better than The Men Who Stare At Goats.

Oh, and Joe Biden was there, too.

This year I will definitely watch the VP debates.

"The Star Spangled Banner" Sung In The Key Of 18,000 Revs Per Minute

Now that the U.S. Army has decided to cut back on NASCAR sponsorships, I suggest that it look into Formula One racing.

NASCAR isn't bringing in enough Army recruits to justify the sponsorship costs (which are considerable - $26 million went to Dale Earnhardt Jr. and his No. 88 Chevrolet alone), so the Army might want to try something new.

You may say, "Well, Formula One is way too Euro to go over in the American heartland" and I wouldn't disagree. NASCAR has deep Appalachian roots while F1 is all about blatantly foreign stuff, like open-wheel cars and the metric system. F1 even has umlauts, such as in "Nürburgring."

But the Red Bull racing team's stroke of genius takes all that foreign taint away. The Army ought to hire those guys to play the national anthem at every racing event we have. If that doesn't make American motorheads stand up and salute, I don't know what will.

Julian Assange Turns A Whiter Shade Of Pale

I had no idea that the UK is legally prepared to unilaterally withdraw recognition of a diplomatic premise. Not that I think they will actually do it, at least, not over the minor melodrama that is Julian Assange's Excellent Ecuadorian Embassy Adventure, but I am pleased that they at least raised the possibility.

The BBC reported today on the UK 'threat' to arrest Wikileaks founder:

The UK Foreign Office says it can lift the embassy's diplomatic status to fulfill a "legal obligation" to extradite the 41-year-old.

The law the UK has informed Ecuador it could use in the case is the Diplomatic and Consular Premises Act 1987 [read it here].

It allows the UK to revoke the diplomatic status of an embassy on UK soil, which in this case would potentially allow police to enter the building to arrest Mr Assange for breaching the terms of his bail.

The act was introduced after PC Yvonne Fletcher was shot outside the Libyan Embassy in London in 1984.

You can see a contemporary British TV news report on the murder of 25-year-old Police Constable Fletcher here. All these years later, delivering her killer to justice is still a political football between the UK and the new, improved, Libya.

The idea of a host country revoking the diplomatic recognition of a premise that is being used for un-diplomatic activity appeals to me. Has the U.S. made that kind of legal provision? If not, we should.

The New York Times has some details on Assange's condition inside the Embassy of Ecuador:

The WikiLeaks founder sleeps on an air mattress in a small office that has been converted to a bedroom, according to accounts of those who have visited him. He has access to a computer and continues to oversee WikiLeaks, his lieutenants have said. Reporters outside the building have seen food being delivered from nearby restaurants.

His presence is a challenge for employees of the embassy. One British government official, citing a conversation with a member of the embassy staff, said that the situation was surreal.

A diplomat familiar with Mr. Assange’s situation said that he spent his time in a back room, which gets no direct sunlight. Several weeks ago he had a bad cold and appeared depressed, the source said.

“He can’t get outside to see the sun,” his mother, Christine Assange, said in a recent interview conducted in Quito for BBC Mundo, a BBC Web site. “I’m worried about his health, as I would be for anybody who is having to stay indoors and not get exercise and have sunlight.”

She said some of Mr. Assange’s friends have encouraged him to put on music and dance as a way of getting physical activity and that they had also brought sunlamps.”

I still say Assange looks like David Bowie's Thin White Duke stage persona from the 1970s.

Maybe the sunlamps will help Assange with his vitamin D deficiency and seasonal affective disorder. But I don't think anything can help him with that major case of melanin impoverishment he's got going on. Assange is undoubtedly the lightest-skinned human being ever to come out of Australia. If he gets any paler he might turn translucent and slip right past the British police on watch outside the embassy.

Give him some color with this before he gets away.

U.S. Embassy Oslo's Fake-But-Real Bomb Scare

So somebody in Oslo forgot to remove a dummy bomb from an embassy vehicle and that oversight caused a big commotion, including an expensive response by Norwegian emergency services, and even the cancellation of a children's soccer game. That's right, a children's soccer game! All very embarrassing for the Ambassador.

Looking on the sunny side of this incident, at least it shows that our vehicle inspection procedures work, and that's good to know.

Whenever this sort of human error happens, which is often, I marvel again over the fact that there are people who think the U.S. government faked the moon landing, covered up the real truth about the Kennedy assassination, and collaborated with extraterrestrials to invent stealth technology.

ABC News has the following report, Sorry About the Fake Bomb

U.S. officials apologized today for mistakenly leaving a fake bomb attached to an embassy vehicle in Oslo and causing a bomb scare that led to the evacuation of the U.S. embassy, Norway's royal palace and part of downtown Oslo.

The device had been placed beneath an embassy vehicle as part of a security drill and then mistakenly left there. It was spotted by security guards at the embassy's front entrance when someone tried to drive the vehicle onto embassy grounds just after 11 a.m. local time, triggering the evacuation of the embassy and the palace, the cancellation of an international children's soccer game nearby, and an interruption of nearby subway train traffic.

Deputy State Dept. spokesperson Patrick Ventrell confirmed that the device had been used in a previous drill and then forgotten.

"This morning at our U.S. Embassy in Oslo, Norway," said Ventrell, "Embassy security staff identified a suspicious device in an Embassy-owned vehicle and took appropriate precautions. Upon investigation, the device was determined to be a non-threatening training device previously used in an exercise."

"We regret any disruption caused by this incident not only for visitors to the Embassy and others, but neighbors, and we take any potential threat seriously and respond immediately."

In Oslo, the U.S. ambassador apologized to police via a phone call, according to Norwegian media. An embassy spokeswoman also issued a public apology. "The Embassy regrets the uproar this caused," said Marit Andersen. "But to ensure the safety of embassy employees, visitors and our neighbors, it is necessary that we take every security threat seriously and act accordingly. The Embassy would like to express gratitude for the extremely fast and professional response from Norwegian emergency services."

The Oslo bomb squad, emergency services and other agencies responded to the bomb alert. The children's soccer game was cancelled so the field could be used to land helicopters. The Oslo squad removed the object and determined that it was a dummy bomb. The Oslo City Council, according to Norwegian media, is seeking compensation for the police response.

Nine U.S. Troops Punished in Cartagena Prostitution Scandal

Troops and prostitutes - nothing new there

The U.S. Secret Service was quick to investigate the prostitution-and-misconduct scandal that occurred during the Presidential trip to Cartagena last April. As a result of that investigation, eight Secret Service agents were fired or resigned, three were cleared, and one lost his security clearance.

The U.S. Southern Command, however, took its time investigating the military members who supported that Cartagena trip, and has only now released its report.

From the WaPo, report says military members brought prostitutes to Colombia hotel:

A dozen U.S. service members brought women, likely prostitutes, to their hotel rooms in Colombia and also allowed dogs to soil bed linens and building grounds shortly before President Barack Obama arrived in the country for an April summit, according to a military investigation that followed the announcement of punishments for the men.

The dogs ran out of control, too? Yes, but ignore that part for now. Back to the troops:

Seven Army soldiers and two Marines have received administrative punishments for what the report described as misconduct consisting “almost exclusively of patronizing prostitutes and adultery.” Three of the service members have requested courts martial, which would give them a public trial to contest the punishments.

Since 2005, the Uniform Code of Military Justice has outlawed the patronizing of prostitutes. It is punishable by dishonorable discharge, forfeiture of all pay and allowances, and confinement for one year. I don't know whether any servicemen have ever actually been convicted of that offense - possibly none have - but given the high level of political interest in this scandal, those three guys could be the first.

The military report concluded that “the combination of unstructured free time, the prevalence of legalized prostitution and military members’ individual choice to commit misconduct,” were the primary causes of the transgressions. It also found that there was no evidence that the interaction with prostitutes presented any risk to national security, and that no sensitive materials were compromised.

That unstructured free time does pile up when you're on TDY, doesn't it?

The investigation also concluded that there was no broad coordinated effort to commit the misconduct or to cover it up later, although there were some instances where military members may have made misleading or “factually unlikely” statements when questioned about the matter.

Factually unlikely statements? That's a very generous way for SOUTHCOM to characterize it.

By the way, the Cartagena prostitute whose complaint about being short-changed led to all these investigations is now reported to be opening a non-profit organization to assist women who want to get out of prostitution.

Put Down That Beer, POTUS Needs $5

A month or so ago, the Obama re-election campaign suggested that newlyweds should cut out the wedding gifts and ask their guests to instead send the equivalent in donations to Obama.

Thanks to Naked DC for pointing out the latest donation pitch, tweeted earlier today:

There are ninety-seven more days of campaigning still to come. Bottoms up!

"We Are Able To Make Money In Bundles"

It makes the world go around

It's a good day when the U.S. government can take an action that makes everybody happy. Here are two examples from today's news.

In Baghdad, the State Department awarded a contract for operations and maintenance of the mega embassy compound. H/T to U.S. Trade and Aid Monitor:

A $348 million contract to maintain the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad was awarded this week by the U.S. Department of State to PAE Government Services, which will be tasked with delivering operations and maintenance services for the 104-acre compound. An unspecified portion of that amount will be devoted to providing a residence manager, two cooks, two waiters, and four housekeepers to serve the U.S. ambassador and deputy chief of mission.

People are employed, paychecks are cashed, dinners are served, and maybe the embassy's lawn even gets some grass. What's not to like about all that?

Even better is what happened today in Afghanistan. H/T to Foreign Policy's Passport blog:

U.S. and Pakistani officials signed a memorandum of understanding today, finally reopening supply routes to Afghanistan after a seven month blockade. In a statement to the press, Pakistan Foreign Office spokesman Mozzam Ahmed Khan assured that public that the decision to restore supply lines was made "without any financial benefit."

That may be true for Pakistan, but not everyone is coming out of this empty-handed. The Associated Press reports:

"Stopping these supplies caused us real trouble," a Taliban commander who leads about 60 insurgents in eastern Ghazni province told The Associated Press in an interview. "Earnings dropped down pretty badly. Therefore the rebellion was not as strong as we had planned."

A second Taliban commander who controls several dozen fighters in southern Kandahar province said the money from security companies was a key source of financing for the insurgency, which uses it to pay fighters and buy weapons, ammunition and other supplies.

"We are able to make money in bundles," the commander told the AP by telephone. "Therefore, the NATO supply is very important for us."

The U.S. military estimates that theft, bribery and mismanagement put $360 million in the hands of the Taliban, regional war lords and criminals in 2010 alone -- with more than half that amount pinched from convoys along the supply routes.

Those Talib commanders sound even happier than PAE Government Services. And so they should be, now that their cash flow is positive again and their earnings projections are heading straight up. I don't know what their tax situation is, but even assuming they have to kick some thick percentage upwards, they still probably net more income than PAE's Baghdad program manager.   

Congratulations boys, and don't spend it all in one place!