Former SecState Pompeo: Diet Coke Yes, Japanese Whiskey No

The news media is running with another Pompeo ethics scandal, or would-be scandal, not unlike the ones it ran over the non-scandal of his renting a house on Ft. Belvior as an offical residence when he was Secretary of State.

The State Department is looking into the whereabouts of a $5,800 bottle of Japanese whiskey that was gifted to former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, according to State Department filings in the federal register.

The government of Japan gifted the whiskey to Pompeo in 2019, the document says. But it is unclear if Pompeo himself received the whiskey or if a staffer accepted it.

Pompeo said Thursday that he never received the bottle of whiskey and that he had "no idea" it was missing, nor what happened to the gift.

"I assume it wasn't ever touched. It never got to me. I have no idea how the State Department lost this thing, although I saw enormous incompetence at the State Department during my time there," the former secretary of state said during an appearance on Fox News. "Had it been a case of Diet Coke, I'd have been all over it."

- snip -

American officials are prohibited from accepting personal gifts from foreign governments. But "non-acceptance would cause embarrassment to donor and U.S. Government," the State Department says in the filing, so the gifts are turned over to government archives.

This latest exercise in self-pleasuring by the news media was brought on by the report of the Office of the Chief of Protocol; Gifts to Federal Employees from Foreign Government Sources Reported to Employing Agencies in Calendar Year 2019.

I love to browse that annual gift report just to see the amazing stuff that foreign magnificos think to give our traveling USG dignitaries. Like all the jewelry. I mean, how many pairs of pearl earrings can any one FLOTUS wear?

And the ridiculously expensive wristwatches! Among many examples, see page 42 wherein a CIA employee(s) was given men's and women's Rolexes valued at $8,000 apiece by a foreign government whose identity is redacted. Their disposition is recorded only as "disposed," with no hint of how that was accomplished. Another CIA employee was given a woman's Rolex valued at a much more reasonable $2,000, which he or she chose to purchase rather than turn over.

BTW, purchase is always an option with foreign gifts, although one that is rarely taken. Our Deputy Chief of Mission in Libya once purchased a ring given to her by Gaddafi.

Agency people aren't the only ones getting super high-end watches. DOD bigshots get them too, and even more ridiculously expensive ones! General Joseph M. Votel, Commanding General USCENTCOM, received a Rolex valued at a whopping $14,995 from the state of Qatar, plus a few more of somewhat lesser value from Bahrain and Afghanistan, and even a couple from foreign officials whom he couldn't recall later. 

Hey, General, every PX sells perfectly good G-Shocks starting at around 50 bucks that are plenty macho and tactical. Try sporting one of those when you meet your foreign counterparts and maybe then they wouldn't take pity on you and insist that you accept a Rolex or two.

I hope someday we find out the National Archives have been running an underground chop shop to turn all that expensive foreign jewelry into salable commodities. General Votel could maintain his effort in Afghanistan forever with the proceeds of that operation.

And then, there are always gifts of guns and knives. President Trump was gifted with a sweet CZ-75 pistol from the Prime Minister of the Czech Republic, and an "Ottoman Empire rifle" - not further identified - from the Prime Minister of Bulgaria. I already own a quite wonderful CZ pistol, but the thought of an Ottoman Empire rifle has my imagination working overtime.

Finally, on page 21 of 92, we come to the smoking gun: a bottle of Japanese whisky from His Excellency Suga Yoshihide, Chief Cabinet Secretary of Japan, received 5/10/2019, with an estimated value $8,374 and its disposition reported only as "pending" and a footnote disclaiming that the information about disposition "is valid as of the date of receipt from the reporting agency to the Office of the Chief of Protocol."

What? Disposition of that contraband hooch has been pending ever since 2019? Cue the dramatic music, cause that's Pompeo's ass, right there. Oh, wait, that particular bottle was given to The Honorable Matthew Pottinger, Deputy Assistant to the President and Senior Director for Asian Affairs. Forget it.

The bottle of Japanese whiskey that went to Pompeo is recorded on page 30, and that one was received on 6/24/2019, had an estimated value of $5,800, and its disposition is recorded as "unknown" with a footnote stating that "the Department is looking into the matter and has an ongoing inquiry."

From all this I have learned that the Japanese make some super-expensive whiskey, the very best bottles of which are given to assistants to the POTUS, with Cabinet Secretaries getting a lesser product which, to quote a good movie, I'm sure is quaffable but far from transcendent.

Now, I had always been under the impression that gifts of consumables are not turned over to the Archives or GSA, but rather are disposed of pretty quickly and directly and probably by the security details that accompany our traveling dignitaries. Is that no longer true? Or should the Department direct its ongoing inquiry to the security detail that accompanied Secretary Pompeo to Japan?

Consider the delicious matter of Senator Romney's Wagyu meat, a gift of His Majesty King Abdullah II ibn Al Hussein, King of the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan, with an estimated value of $500. On page 88 of the report the disposition of that gift is listed as simply "Disposition - Disposed of." No details are given, but is it hard to guess what that means? 

Surely Romney's party didn't pack the meat in a cooler and try to deposit it in the National Archives after they got back to Washington. Moreover, so far as is reported, he didn't purchase that gift either, despite its $500 value somewhat exceeding the $390 threshold at which government ethics rules about gifts kick in.

Did you pony up for that BBQ, Senator?